enchant the mind....

( my attempt to calm down and breath again! haha )
Jun. 20th, 2005 @ 12:47 pm

crescendo_nova 

 Exactly. Well said.

But when it comes to understanding each other, I think that's a hard spot. With the combinations of all the factors you mentioned how can we really understand someone unless we are that person? No one can come even come close to comprehending a pain that they've never experienced themselves. And once again if you add in the factors, that makes it even more difficult to identify with someone. [...]

it is a hard state of affairs to really connect with someone.  or anyone really.  that is why true friends are so rare and precious.  but considering we really truly can't completely understand other people it is our intent and thoughts towards people that matter the most and the meaning we let them hold in our lives. 

it also becomes almost a spiritual or supernatural (or whatever you want to call it) state of being that brings people together at times.  certain people just find themselves connecting without completely knowing each other or understanding.  but they connect.  it's the meaning and feelings that people lend to each other. 

and that involves alot of trust.  to know that a someone is never going to fully understand your pain and tell them anyways.  that is a powerful connection in itself to be able to trust on a personal level or trust at all.  trust is more then sharing secrets, on a deeper level trust is making yourself vulnerable by letting another person attempt to share in your being.  it's an attempt at unity; an attempt at something greater in life.  i can't even count the times my attempts have failed and my trust in the world and others has been abused.  everytime i think about it i start to cry.  but i continue because i know it will one day happen.  it is happening right now.  i'm making deep connections with people i never would have thought and am finding people who seem to care enough to try and understand or at least listen.  or at least read these posts and comment!  (so thank yoU!) 

but i know no one will ever understand the pains i've suffered.  consequently i've been able to put so many other aspects of life in perspective.  i've gained such a deeper understanding of life that i don't think i would have ever achieved if i hadn't been through what i have.  people will never understand as much as they say they do.  thus i'm able to better help other people and i know i'll never understand their pains either but i try and be there and try my best to be the best i can for every person i know.  and i hope that that is enough.  cuz i know for myself, just knowing people are there and knowing they genuinly care is often times enough.

so be there.  really truly be there. 

life is beyond the drama and superficialities. 

so be there.  really be there.  and the connections will find themselves.

this summer has only begun but is refreshing me as no vacations do.  i'm starting my life, my chance to be me, to think to dwell to feel.  and simply be.  my cousin left this morning, played sitar and spaced out in thought so i figured i would type out that promised response to kristina's comment:

"sillylittlemen 
2005-06-07 17:55 (link) 
you're hilarious and i love you, heh, remember, though, you can tell people thier problems are not as bad as others... and you may be right, but in thier minds, it's usually the worst thing ever, then, by telling them it's not a big deal, they begin to feel guilty... which worsens the situation, but, overall, i'm impressed at your amount of thought on the subject, and agree with you on many things, thank you for writing something inteligent... as most people on lj fail to do, heh"

well, i look at it this way.  it all comes back to perception and relativity.  when both of those are taken in account and understood people can freely talk and connect without the hindrances of miscommunication or misunderstandings.  so here is the thought:

every person stands at just a slightly different angle of life therefore everyone sees things slightly different.  no one will view exactly the same thing exactly the same way.  people can be close and can even come to understand and more often appreciate other perspectives no one will hold the same perception of things.  even if you were to clone a person and have them stand in the exact same spot as the original person, they will see different things. 

this is where the idea of relativity comes into play.  a person can be further defined by the experiences they have endured.  indeed the past is indicative of the present just as the present will set the stage for tommorrow and the moments to come.  and because everyone stands in a slightly different spot, even if people experience the same things, they will be effected differently by the situations and surroundings because of "relativity".  make sense? 

so in order to talk to someone about thier problems or worries or concerns it is important to understand the person in order to better understand the elements of thier being that are contributing to their "pain".  i quote the word pain to bring up another idea.  this is the idea that every one has different pain tolerances, physically and emotionally.  while one person may cry over a stomach ache, it may take a broken rib cage or protruding bone to send another person to tears.  granted, one must understand that there are different degrees even of physical pain.  you could have a stomach ache from too much junk food or a stomach ache from acid reflux disease.  another factor in itself is the actual degree of pain.  but what may be "depression" to one person could be a low empty feeling while to another it could be the desires of suicide or eternal sleep.  or how a broken heart can make one person want to kill themselves while abuse and neglect could make another person go over the edge of life. 

but in reality, the point remains that if people want to truly understand each other they need to take into account relativity and perception as well as that person's tolerance of their actual degree of pain.  but also, if a person begins to feel guilty over what they realized they are feeling, maybe it was just a wake up call to reality or a wake up call to meaning.  so many people are so far gone, this wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing for some people, just for some people.  but not for everyone. 

but to quote a wise source (aka the perks of being a wallflower)  here is the ultimate truth of the matter. 

"I know that people have it alot worse.  i do know that, but it's crashing in anyway. . . "

"so i guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.  and maybe we'll never know most of them.  but even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.  we can still do things.  and we can try to feel okay about them. . . .

". . . And even if sombody has it much worse, that doesn't change the fact that you have what you have.  Good and bad."

". . . Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, i think that the only perspective is to really be there. . . because it's okay to feel things.  and be who you are about them." 

so yea.  my mind isn't very clear right now so hopefully this makes sense but this is all up for individual contemplation and i would love to hear your thoughts.  so COMMENT HERE!!!!!!!

lalalalalalalalala thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink ponderponderponderponderponder spazspazspazspazspaz ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

why does life have to get so messy?  why are certain people drawn to certain lifestyles and make certain choices?  so many people have so many problems, not like "OMG MY HAIR" or "omg look at that guy!" or people whining in self pity because life isn't perfect to what they want.  not everything is always supposed to work.  that is just part of life.  there is a reason things don't work, or become difficult.  i honestly really believe that.  but people have real problems, true issues, dabilitating setbacks and [insert adj. here] [insert plural noun here].  why create your own woes?  no one should need anything to moan about anything.  is that how you want to focus your life?  being sad isn't cool.  nor is it attention retrieving.  the look of an emo kid or punker or goth, does not have to be backed up with deceptive attitudes.  deceptive to your true being.  why deny who you are?  what image is so important that you deny yourself?  do you want to live an image?  or live a life?  think about that.  really think.

are you thinking?

they have done studies on the brain that found that the right prefrontal cortex contains negative ("people who are inclined to fall prey to negative emotions displayed a pattern of persistent activity in regions of their right prefrontal cortex. those with more positive temperaments the activity occured in the left prefrontal cortex instead. ...the Tibetan lama's baseline of activity proved to be much farther to the left of anyone preciously tested." -national geographic article on "the mind" in march 2005 issue can you tell i'm an avid reader? haha) and the left prefrontal cortex contains the positive.  they have found that the tibetan monks that meditate can gain control of the left prefrontal cortex over the right.  dwelling in the negative will give you something to complain about becausethat side of the brain takes over.  be thankful you have life.  be thankful you are healthy, and strong, and can eat whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want.  i could go on for forever. 

attitude and perspective are seriously such a great part in this.  the more you dwell in the negative the more your subconscious psychological state will be drawn to the negatives.  like a magnet.  it's a dependancy, an addiction.  if you are really happy or even content in life, don't change that.  people wait and try lifetimes to achieve a happy state.  don't screw yourself.  also, do'nt confuse being confused to self or lost in life to depression, to sadness, to living a lie.  life isn't going to be flawless regardless of how happy you are.  i would not define happiness as being "happy" but being comfortable in one's life, stable in one's normal flux of emotions, being able to live life as fully as one chooses.  if you have truly suffered pain, then i think you will understand this.  being "happy" does not imply loosing a certain range of emotions.  like i said, not everything is perfect for a reason.  there is much to be gained from the hard times.  it's commonly called "maturity through adversity".  and i truly believe it because i have experienced it.  i would not be able to read philosophy, contemplate life, write poetry, understand the things i do if it weren't for all the experiences i've gone through and suffered. 

i also believe that the other good side of problems is this:  when one is "happy" one does not question.  when you don't question, you don't learn, you don't grow.  you stay the same.  because if you are happy, what are you questioning?  why would you question?  don't question a good thing they always say!  and it's true.  when there is a seemingly random day off from school, do you really care why? or an even better example being,  when a teacher says no hw, are you going to question that?  i certainly hope not!  but when one is uncontent with one's surroundings or one's life or ect. one logically will question.  "why am i suffering?"  "why am i in pain?"  "what is the reason for this?"  "WHY WHY WHY????"  you know what i mean?  i bet you've done it.  and do you question then reavert your focus?  i doubt it.  you think, you ponder, you question.  AHA!! a sign of intelligence!  the ability to analyse, to rationalize, to interpret, to understand, and to even think such thoughts! and to then be able to express what you are thinking clearly and eloquently.  such a gift!  truly a talent.

but i also don't want to give the impression that only question when there are problems.  certainly you can achieve such a thought process without problems.  but one must be content and stable enough to truly tap into themselves to reach such a contemplative state. 

i'm not really sure why i typed all this.  but hopefully you learned something about yourself, your status, you life, your perspective, or something along those lines.  whenever i am impulsed to do something there always turns out to be a reason.  so hopefully someone will get something out of this.  please let me know if you do.